I'm about to BLOW YOUR MINDS with some information. You know when you see a weight-loss commercial and they show you the "before" and "after" pictures? That shiz isn't real. (GASP!) Or when you see an ad where they magically clean your carpet of stains with a wave of their magic wand product? Fake. OR when you see an ad where a sprightly blonde girl is getting ready for a date, and her rascaly golden retriever ruins the mood by extinguishing her "mood-lighting" candles with a lift of his leg? The dog DIDN'T actually put out that candle. A guy standing off camera with a spray bottle did.
(I was the sprightly blonde in that last one. It was an add for a Dog Training DVD... no joke.)
I know I'm surprising you all with these CRAZY revelations... :) I'll shock you with one more...
I was also in an ad once for a curling iron. A clamp-free curling iron made by a person who was hair-stylist-to-the-stars about a decade ago. (Life was glamorous when I was acting in LA, let me tell you.) I was hired to curl my own hair on camera with the iron, and then testify (from a script, mind you) on camera about how easy and amazing it was.
Here's what really happened: I showed up, and spent 3+ hours in hair and makeup while the professionals did all the work making my hair look amazing. Then they taught me how to use the iron, straightened ONE piece of hair, and filmed me curling it.
Then came the testimonial, where I performed my memorized lines about how easy and amazing it was. And it WAS easy, AND amazing. You know why? Because I didn't do a damn thing. I just sat there while people made me look my best, and that was easy... just not in the way they ment.
However, I did all that I just described... with a giant zit on my chin. Like, GIANT. Possibly the largest one of my life. I woke up that morning and HELLO, there it was. I don't know what the protocol is here, if you are a famous type actress. I assume they airbrush it out in post-production or something... but we weren't dealing with that kind of budget here, clearly. So I just showed up to set, to sell a BEAUTY product, with a co-star that looked like an angry, red marble perching on my face.
It took the make-up guy all his skill and patience to alter Mt. Vesuvius to at least a less-angry color, but HDTV doesn't lie. There was no way that camera was going to miss this thing. I imagine that it grew like Pinnochio's nose with each lie I told about my breezy-hair-curling experience.
When my mom finally saw the ad months later she saw me... looking nice in brief shots curling my hair... but there was no long shot of me talking about the curling iron. What a surprise. My zit got me cut out of the ad.
5 or so years later, at the age of... erm... at the age where I am an adult and believe that I should have outgrown these issues, I'm about to get my first Post-Partum period and... BLAMMO. In the past few days FOUR different zits have popped up, all on my chin. Each time I have gotten pregnant, I have enjoyed blissfully perfect skin through the second and third trimesters, and all the way up to my first period after giving birth. Both times I have been lulled into believing that now, at the age of (okay, I'll say it) 32, I have finally grown out of this horrendously embarrassing part of early adulthood. Larry, Moe, Curly and Rudolph here on my chin have arrived to prove otherwise.
It's hard enough to handle PMS irritability while watching a toddler without your chin resembling the surface of Mars at the same time. As I'm breastfeeding, I don't have much ability to treat the issue with fancy pills as I have done in the past. I just have to grin and bear it until the breastfeeding is done, at which point I will trade in my ProActiv for something stronger.
On the plus side? If you were conned into buying that curling iron a few years ago, it wasn't because I told you to. My zit saved me from that particular untruth.
If you bought a certain dog-training DVD however... that's all on me.
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