And really quickly.
I've always wondered when I would feel "grown up." I got married, thought about it, and decided, "nah, I still feel like me. And "me" does not equal "an adult." Then we had Elliot. Life changed, incredibly. Priorities were rearranged and my needs fell to the bottom of the life totem pole, but I still just felt like me. There was never a day over the past 14 months that I thought "Oh, so THIS is what it is to be an adult."
Adulthood has always felt so... abstract. So much of what our PARENTS are that how could we catch up and join them?
Then about 2 days ago, as I drove home late at night from my 3rd trip to the hospital that day -I was pulling off the freeway, I remember the moment exactly - I thought "Oh. Okay. So this is what it is to be an adult."
My husband is sick. Right now he is really sick. Right now he can't breathe for himself, and he has to blink to communicate and he has been living at the hospital for a week and a half, and we don't know when he will come home. Right now I am running back and forth from my son to my husband, always wishing I could be both places at once and feeling guilty that it is impossible to do so.
The good news is (and there IS good news) this is all just for right now. His prognosis is excellent. He WILL come home, and he will be just fine. The nature of what is wrong, unfortunately, comes with a completely uncertain timeline. So for now we are just taking it one day at a time.
I am constantly writing blog posts about this in my head, I think as a part of processing what is going on (because it is so freaking crazy.) I haven't decided how much I will end up writing about, both because I have nearly no time to do things like write, and because my husband is -by nature- a private person. Maybe when it's all over I will talk about it in detail. For now, I just wanted to give you all a heads up. I'm not still on my blog break. I'm currently on a Real Life Break.
One day soon I will have my Real Life back... and when that happens, I will be back as well.
12 comments:
Many thoughts and prayers to your family during this time.
An incredibly appropriate title, Lady. Hopes and prayers for you and your family heading your way every day. (((HUGS)))
Thinking about you and praying for you as well! I can relate to your feeling a bit because that is how we felt when our girls were in the NICU. Wanting to be with them but missing our son while we were there, and vice versa when we were home with him instead. This soon will pass, and I'm glad you know the prognosis is a good one!
Many, many hugs, friend. I'm thinking of you guys and pulling for a speedy recovery for Eric!!
All my prayers are with you. I love you, girl! Kisses for the wee ones too.
xoxo
thinking about you so much and hoping hubby gets back home as soon as possible. hang in there your an amazing wife and mother!
and you know where to find me if you need to vent! ;)
Oh, MICHELE! I'm SO sorry. I wondered what was wrong from your FB posts, but I didn't want to pry. You and your whole little family are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm sending you big hugs from NY. Please tell Eric we're thinking of him and pulling for him to recover quickly!
Hey Michele,
A muchh support sending you way from way over here. If anything from NY can help, I will seek it out, and send it to you ASAP, overnight delivery. Or same day, even.
Take good care and much get-well-soon to your husband.
Recently a complete stranger commented on a post I had written about my dad being sick. Her words were so genuine and sweet...it was encouraging that someone who didn't know me took the time to comment and say a prayer for my dad.
When I stumbled across your blog tonight, I had to comment. My heart goes out to you while your husband is so sick. I hope you can find the strength to get through this trying time and that your husband makes a speedy {and full!} recovery.
Beauty, I am thinking of you all the time! Hang in there, and don't forget to take care of yourself too. Love you lots!!!
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry you are going through this. Your family will be in my prayers, stay strong!
I just stumbled upon this post. I don't know what's wrong with your husband, but I wish him a speedy recovery.
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