long awaited...

the labor story! -- after finishing it, i realize it's a freaking novella. heads up friends, it's LONG!-- (it's only almost 2 months late... but you try typing out your labor story while dealing with a newborn! oh wait... many of you have... hmmm. well, i've been moving 2 states as well. so, um, take that!) :) i feel very justified in my tardiness now. this story could take on a "to be continued" at any moment, if elliot decides to wake up from the blessed nap he is taking in his carseat, but until then... here we go!

6:30 AM - Monday, July 27th, 2009

I wake up, 4 days overdue and with contractions. Now, I hadn't had many of ye ol' Braxton Hicks... literally only 2 instances, and both stopped as soon as I got out of bed, so I didn't know much what to think of these. However, as I lay in bed staring at the clock I realized: they were coming regularly about 1o minutes apart. Hmmm... suspcious.

7:30 AM- Eric rolled over and saw that I was awake. He asked why, and I say "well, the bad news is i have been up for an hour already. the good news is: "i am having contractions? 10 minutes apart for the last hour?" the question marks aren't meant to be a strange grammatical choice, they are meant to communicate my utter disbelief that THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE HAPPENING... LIKE, TODAY?

So, we decided to get out of bed and eat some breakfast, and see what happens. (Because if the contractions were false labor, the change of position and activity should have stopped them.) As a precaution, Eric logged on to the handy interwebs to time my contractions. From this point on, I called out "Go!" to him at the beginning of a contracion, and he hit the space bar. When it was over, I yelled "Stop!" Space bar. Thus, contractions continued to be timed, and they kept coming.

We ate some breakfast, and (as we were moving out of LA soon) I puttered around packing boxes. I realized, when taking a break laying down on the couch, that laying down would slow the contractions down, but also made them MUCH more uncomfortable. Neither of those things were what I wanted... So around 10:30 Eric and I decided to go for a walk.

10:30 AM- We strolled (slowly, as I am a whale at this point, and most whales don't move quickly. I will exempt Killer Whales from this statement... picture me as more like a peaceful beluga, as I am about that pale as well) up to Blockbuster, returned some movies... la la la, normal day, don't mind us, contractions, just keep on coming. On this hour long walk, the contractions sped up to about 8-9 minutes apart... interesting.

Noonish- We arrived back at home. While on the walk we had kicked around the idea of walking to lunch somewhere, but at this point I was getting to be, well, a tad uncomfortable. I decided that I would rather stay home, so Eric made us some mac n' cheese.

I got onto the comptuer to talk to a few of my favorite Pregnant Ladies (some of whom had become moms at this point) to share my labor symptoms and see what they thought. Bee had woken up in labor as I had, (a few weeks earlier) so I asked how quickly her contractions had progressed to 5 minutes apart for an hour (which is when we were told to head to the hospital.) She asked me what I was experiencing and said "You are IN LABOR! Get off the couch and keep moving around!" Needless to say, I did as she said, but was still not confident that I would be heading to the hospital anytime soon, if that day at all. I decided to pack the things on my "Day of" list for the hospital bag.

(***Looking back I don't know WHY I was still in denial that "This was it!" I kept thinking that the contractions were going to stop any minute now. Honestly this is probably because between contractions, I felt PERFECT. So in the minutes in between, it didn't possibly feel like it would happen again, because I felt fine. That said, I was packing, laying down, walking, eating, changing positions and activities like a crazy woman... and they were not only NOT going away, but were getting closer together. Note to self and anyone else reading this: THIS MEANS YOU ARE IN LABOR. HA. okay, moving on.***)

While Eric cooked lunch, my mom called. We had decided ahead of time not to tell anyone that I was in labor until I got admitted to the hospital. I didn't want anyone getting all excited unless it was The Real Deal, and I figued only the doctors could tell me that. For this reason, when my mom said to me: "I think I have the flu, or food poisoning. Whatever it is, I can't walk without getting sick. You are NOT allowed to have a baby today." I didn't tell her that I was timing contractions as we spoke. I really didn't want her trying to get on a plane, especially if we could get to the hospital only to be told to go back home. So, I said nothing.

1 PM- After eating my mac n cheese I continued packing. The contractions quickly progressed to the point that I was having to stop and lean on boxes and do some swearing to get through them. At 1 PM, the increasing discomfort of the contractions PLUS the lower back ache I had drove me into the shower. The contractions basically felt like really intense menstral cramps, and whenever I had those I sat in a warm bath, so I figured the warm water would help here as well. I grabbed the removable shower head and sat on the floor of the shower holding it aimed at my lower back... and I didn't get out of the shower for 2 hours.

At some point in those 2 hours, I leaned out of the shower and threw up all my mac n cheese. Gross. I had to call to Eric and tell him he had to clean up my mess (not all of the yak made it into the toilet... my aim was a tad off.) I felt embarassed, and I was in pain, and I felt horribly that he had to clean thism mess up (if only I had known what he would end up helping me do in the following days, the vomit wouldn't have seemed so bad, not gonna lie.) It was about then that I realized that I was probably in labor. I felt pretty damn awful at this point, and it was just getting worse... and worse... and worse. If this wasn't "IT" something was really wrong, because there was no way I was going through this pain for no reason. At a certain point I had enough. We were still timing contractions but I had no idea how far apart they were, or weren't. I decided, this is it, I am done. If Eric tells me they haven't been 5 minutes or less for an hour, I AM CALLING THE HOSPITAL AND I AM LYING ABOUT IT. :)

3 PM- I called to Eric and said "Where are we?!" And he said "Yeah, we have been 5 or less for an hour, do you want to go?" To which I replied "Yes. I am done doing this on my own, I need help." I told him to please get himself ready, because I wasn't relinquishing the minor comfort of the shower until I absolutely had to. Once he was ready, I got out of the shower and got dressed. I then proceded to lean onto the bathroom counter and wait while he loaded up the car. At this point, our lovely cat Milky White (who is not allowed into our bedroom because of the baby's crib) strolled past me and through the open bedroom door. I saw this happening, but I was too busy "Handling my shit" as I called it, to even CONSIDER trying to stop her. Now, the unfortunate part is that Milky has this habit of climbing up under our bed and INTO the boxspring, which is what she chose to do. In the 5 minutes that followed of Eric trying frantically to wrestle her back out of the boxspring, I became pretty convinced that if I did't give birth to this baby in the car, it will be because I was about to do so on the bathroom floor.
3:15-3:35 PM- In the 20 minute drive to the hospital, it became apparent that my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. I told Eric that there was no way I was parking the car with him, because I was getting myself into Triage as fast as I possibly could. I knew that they would have to examine me and determine I was in labor before admitting me, and I didn't want any more seconds standing between myself and my epidural than there needed to be. So when we got to the hospital, I got out of the car and toddled my way up to the Birthing Pavillion on my own, and announced that I was there, and I was in labor. I am pretty sure the shade of green my face was turning convinced them that I wasn't kidding, and they took me immediately to Triage.

3:45-6:30 PM- I remember hearing Eric arrive while I was in the bathroom changing into my fancy gown (ha.) The nurse was asking him if it was our first, and if he was excited, and he sounded SO DARN CHIPPER... and really excited. It was really cute. I was struggling through contractions and was so huge I couldn't keep my balance to get out of my pants, but hearing his voice made me feel excited for the first time in a few hours. This lasted only a second mind you, before I was back to feeling awful, but it was a little bright moment in what was turning into several hours of being in pain.

They determined I was between 5-6 cm already, which I didn't anticipate at all. I was hoping for 4, so 5-6 sounded amazing. I asked immediately for an epidural. I had been wanting to hold out as long as I could before getting one, and I had done that. Now I was darn ready for some serious pain meds, with no reservations about asking for them.

The nurse said the anesthesiologist was available (hurrah!) and she would get my epidural ordered... and then she disappeared for what felt like 30 minutes. The contractions were 2 minutes apart and literally off the charts on the monitor. I remember Eric commenting on how crazy strong they were, but I was busy just breathing to get through them. (At this point Eric had called my mom to tell her we had been admitted, and she tried to get herself to get to an airport and on a plane, as I knew she would. She was so sick she got all the way to the airport and had to turn around, so sad.) Eventually I sent Eric after the nurse looking for my drugs. She comes back and says she has put in the order, and then she disappears AGAIN. I send Eric after her yet another time, I am darn serious and I want that shot, PRONTO! She comes back again and informs me that I have to be hooked up to this bag of fluids through an IV and take the whole bag before I can get my epidural.

...

WHAT?! Now, I had read this at some point (something to do with epidurals and blood pressure) but I hadn't remembered it. And I certainly didn't know what the heck she had been doing for the past 30 mins were this the case. Couldn't I have been well on my way to finishing that bag of fluids by now?! So she hooks me up and I say "What can I have now?! What drugs can I have RIGHT now, in this IV?" Thus begins my Stadol experience.

Stadol has been described as a drug that makes you feel drunk, and that is accurate. The contractions were just as awful, but I was so drifty in the 60 seconds between contractions that it felt like 5 minutes. Stadol did nothing for the pain, but enabled me to relax between contractions in a way I hadn't been able to in hours.

6:30- 6:30 arrived and so did the time for my blessed epidural. They rolled me from Triage to my Labor and Delivery room and the anesthesiologist finally arrived. They made Eric leave the room for it (which at the time I didn't care, I just wanted it DONE already... but looking back I wonder why that is.) I leaned over this contraption especially for epidural insertion that supported me at the precise angle needed to do so. I had read about women having to round their backs over as far as possible, which sounded so uncomfortable to me. I was extremely glad to have something to lean on and hold onto, especially when we reached the point of epidural administration where I was told - contraction or not- I couldn't move a muscle for the next few minutes. Now, getting the epidural was physically painless, but the stress of having to hold perfectly still through 2 awful contractions was psychologically difficult. The stress of those moments was the worst part of the epidural, and after worrying about the possible pain of it, handling that stress was nothing.

Right after the epidural was administered, the nurse left to bring Eric back in the room. As I lay there by myself in the room, I heard and felt a giant *POP* and the bed promptly was flooded. My water had broken in a very dramatic fashion, and I was the only one there to witness it. HA.
When the nurse and Eric arrived back in the room I said "My water broke." She came over and took one look at the bed and said "Yes it did."

6:30-7:00 PM- I was told that the epidural would kick in within 15 minutes, and my the right side of my body was blissfully numb in under 5. The left side of my body, however, proved to be stubborn. Every few minutes I would say to my nurse "It is still not working." And she would reply (without looking up from her computer) "It won't work until a quarter to 7." At 6:45 on the nose I said "It is still not working." To which she replied "Let's give it a few more minutes." So I continued to lay there, feeling every darn contraction with 1/2 of my body, and moaning though each one. I continued to ask her to get the anesthesiologist, and she continued to tell me to wait, every few minutes until 7 PM when she said to me "Well, you are at 10 cm, so we should start thinking about pushing." WHAT?! I said "NO. We are not thinking about pushing until the anesthesiologist comes back in here and fixes this epidural situation!" So she FINALLY called him. (At this point I realized I had just gone through transition without my epidural, while my damn nurse essentially ignored me when I repeatedly asked for help. This was the worst part of my labor, and still gets me angry when I think about it now.)

The anesthesiologist comes back in and says "Well, you should press your Demand Button." My what? "The Demand Button, right here. Push it two times" And he hands me this button that is hanging beside my bed, and I push it twice. Within 5 minutes, I am finally pain free. Which just leads me to say: WHY HADN'T THE NURSE TOLD ME ABOUT THE DAMN DEMAND BUTTON?!

7-10 PM- I didn't have to be pissed off at her for long, because almost immediately after this happend she left for the day (thank god) and Adele, my AMAZING night labor nurse, came on. She confirmed that I was, in fact, at 10 cm and technically ready to push. However, Elliot's head wasn't as far down into the birth canal as she would have liked. She said that many 1st time moms get stuck pushing for hours in this circumstance, and she doesn't think it is a good idea. Since I am (finally!) comfortable, she suggests I rest and let Elliot labor down naturally. At this point I am talking to Eric for the first time in nearly 6 hours and I felt like I was finally emotionally PRESENT at this event. I had been so consumed with just dealing with my pain I had withdrawn and was just laying there breathing to deal with it. I was so glad to be able to communicate and be with Eric for the first time in hours. However, I was also so exhausted that I pretty promptly fell asleep. :)

Adele came in to check on me somewhere in the 8 o'clock hour, and we tried a few pushes (at which point I mentioned the ONLY part of my Birth Plan I was to bring up all night. I said "I guess this is the point where I should tell you that I don't want an episiotomy?" and she said "okay!") He still wasn't as far down as she would have liked, and I was so numb that my pushes weren't yet effective, so we decided to rest and labor down some more.... which means I went back to sleep.

Soon thereafter Adele came back in the room and said "New plan! We are giving you some pitocin." The contractions just weren't getting the job done on their own, and since I was numb already they wanted to give my body a hand. So, Pitocin was added to my IV, and I went back to sleep. (This, by the way, was the best part of labor so far... clearly.) :)

Our friends Ben and Brigetta surprised us by showing up around 9, and went and got Eric some dinner (amazing of them.) They apparently returned and the 3 of them had a Carl's Jr picnic, but I slept right through it. My favorite part of their visit is when they very first arrived and said "Have you had a baby yet?!" as I lay there still hugely pregnant. :)

Around 10 Adele came back in and told them she was going to check me out, so they should go to the waiting room. The Pitocin had done the job, and I was ready to get down to some serious pushing business. Crazy.

10-11:19 PM- Thus starts the hardest hour of labor. Clearly not pain-wise, as I basically felt nothing. However, because I couldn't feel anything, it was very difficult to push effecively and direct my pushes. I just basically tried to keep the strain out of my face (not always succesfully) and visiualize pushing correctly. If they said I had pushed well, I tried to repeat the visual I had just used. Near the end of labor sensation was beginning to return to my body, and I could tell when a contraction was coming, and could direct my pushes a bit better.

Sometime within this hour I met the doctor who would be delivering my baby. She was great, young and really intelligent. She said that there had been meconium in my amniotic fluid, so the labor wasn't going to go according to my Birth Plan. (I had hoped to have him placed on my chest directly after birth, and to have them do their measurements and the Apgar while he was there, and forgo the weight and other things for the first hour after he arrived.) They needed to make sure he hadn't aspirated any of the meconium, so he would be handed to a pediatric team immediately after birth. She said there would be several extra people in the room as a result, but not to be alarmed. (At some point after this they were having a hard time monitoring his heart rate with the external monitor. Because they were afraid of stress on the baby, they put an internal monitor in. Again, not in my birth plan, but what do you do?)

What I really appreciated about Adele (one of the things) was that she never said "we are almost there, the head is getting close" or any of that. As a result, I was just able to focus on the push I was dealing with at the moment, and handle my immediate situation without worrying about "how close" we were or weren't. The only reason I knew we were getting close was because the room started to fill with doctors and nurses. Then when te doctor took over for Adele, I realized Elliot was about to arrive... and within a few more pushes, at 11:19 PM, he did.