it's on my mind... and on my head.

i cut off my hair. i got a haircut and it's all i can think about. to be fair: it was a lot of hair cut. also, it is definitely shorter than i had intended, so what was going to be the shortest haircut i had ever gotten became THE SHORTEST HAIRCUT I HAVE EVER GOTTEN. in the past my husband has commented that i am a champion facebooker, so when it had been 2 days and the cut hadn't been shared he said "you are hiding your hair from FB!" alternately a ridiculous and too close to true for comfort statement. i knew my mom would hate it, and i was right. i could hear her soul crying over instant messenger. she confirmed it by saying "it's cute, i'm just sad." earlier this week a friend and i got into a discussion that started out about losing weight, and became about society's horrible expectations regarding a woman's appearance. she was arguing on the side of idealism ("women should be happy with their body no matter what it looks like!") i was arguing on the side of personal practicality ("listen, i won't get hired if i don't look a certain way, it's just a fact.") two days later and my hair is all gone and i'm struggling with the practical realities i had felt not entirely happy with, but at peace with, two days before. career-wise, it won't matter for theatre, because they usually slap a wig on your head anyway. but for commercial/film reality, i'm scared people won't hire the short 'do. the long blonde hair feels like an easy sell. i like that it feels great, physically, to have this little hair. i like that it goes from wet to DONE in under 3 minutes (a little moroccan oil + a couple minutes from the blow dryer.) i like that i've wanted to have the balls to go this short for years, and i've tried it. now that i have it, i'm a little bit in the cold water with some ball shrinkage, but i'm adjusting. i can't wait for the moment where i walk up to someone who hasn't seen it with 100% confidence. i think it will take a few more days. i like that it's different. (i like that it's different?!) i like that it's different. i went from here:

to here:

and here it is, in the sunshine: